me: ugh i want to get out of the house
friend: hey do you want to hang out
Mom: I wish I was as pretty as you when I was your age!
Parents Friends: How many boys do you have chasing after you now?
Grandparents: Look at our beautiful granddaughter! How many hearts have you broken this week?
School: Someone touch it with a stick so we know it doesn't bite.
no you don’t understand i have a good fashion sense but i don’t have any money
me: mom i got all A's
me: mom i cleaned the whole house
me: mom i don't do drugs and i'm not pregnant
mom: is this your cup on the table?
mom: you never do anything right i do for you all day long and you do nothing for me but stress me out you are so out of control you are grounded if you think you had no life before you just wait i can't believe you treat your own mother this way get out of my sight
i say “omg” too much omg omg look i did it again omg
The best times to kiss a girl.
juliananguyen: When she’s babbling on about something. When you’re arguing. When you see her. When you’re with her. When you’re with your friends. When she cries. When shes happy. When she does something you love. After you ask her out. After she says she loves you. After you just kissed her. Before you leave. My point is, whenever you get the chance to kiss her, kiss her. It makes her feel...
period: WAKE UP ASSHOLE, YOU GOT CRAMPS.
period: How bout an entire chocolate cake for breakfast?
period: How's that back pain? Feeling better? Let's fix that.
period: Find a cookie as big as a house and eat it.
period: See a male specimen of any kind. Instantly horny.
period: Where's your Tic Tac box filled with ibuprofen?
period: Got things to do? Don't care. Sleep.
period: For dinner you're eating an entire bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.
period: Breeze blows by. Instantly horny.
period: You didn't like those brand new underwear right?
period: Yell at a puppy.
period: Close eyes and wait for repeat tomorrow.